Streaking at the Olympics

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Streaker at Women's Football

BBC UK reports that a male streaker ran onto the pitch during the 90th minute of the football match between Australia's Matildas and the Brazilian team. Apparently theolympics.jpg (17661 bytes) runner made it all the way to the centre before being tackled by Games security, obviously for not wearing an official pass.

The incident occurred not long after Australian Sunni Hughes had scored an amazing goal and reacted by exuberantly ripping off her shirt to expose her snazzy green sports bra. This may have been the inspiration behind the streaker's choice of time and venue.

Indeed, the Matildas themselves are now better known for being naked than for their sporting ability, following their controversial nude calendar released earlier this year. Unfortunately this form of training was not as useful as expected; they lost their match to the Brazilians, and are consequently out of the tournament.
(No Australian media covered this event... I wonder why?)

A Streaker at the Sydney Olympics??
Written in August 2000

After successive waves of streakers at high profile events in 2000, the big question is, can a streak occur at the Olympics in Sydney in September? 

Streakerama has heard two rumours regarding this. One is that serial streaker Mark Roberts has asked for sponsorship to continue his record-breaking habit in Sydney. A streak at the Olympics would undoubtedly top off a big career in nude running.

The second is that Jacqui Salmond, the British Open streaker, has been offered a substantial reward to streak at the games.

Without doubt the Olympic streak is the holy grail of all sporting streaks. The amount of security that must be bypassed is directly proportional to the size of the audience. The streaker must take care not to be mistaken for a terrorist, or risk being blown into a thousand pieces by the US bodyguards who are all bringing their own guns to the games (because Australian guns just don't kill well enough). They must also somehow outrun any athletes that take it upon themselves to pitch in with capture and arrest. Luckily, streakers aren't drug tested, so steroids may come in handy at that point.

The event and the venue are also a matter of interest. Streaking at the synchronised swimming will be much welcomed as a respite from fake smiles and glitter, whereas streaking at the beach volleyball will be barely noticed, if, indeed, the streaker is not mistaken for a participant in uniform. Streaking at the shooting is not recommended, as Olympic shooters are often unable to resist a moving target. Handball is tempting, if only because of the lure of the double innuendo, while gymnastics is legally risky, as one is exposing oneself in front of minors. Besides, a nude pommel horse routine is not a good look.

The big one is the opening ceremony, and the fact is, it will need it. The latest news is that the big night will feature Olivia Newton John, several Celine Dion-like power ballads about dreams and spirits, and a reworking of Advance Australia Fair which will apparently "redefine the anthem" (oh God no). This on top of marching bands, fireworks, and - lord help us if it happens - inflatable kangaroos! It all could do with a shot of pure, spontaneous abandon. What would really impress would be legions of streakers, possibly choreographed, at the most smarmy and embarrassing part of the ceremony. One can only hope.

The first streaker at an Olympic Games was 23 year old Michael Leduc, who "cavorted nude" at the closing ceremony in Montreal.

"The 500 costumed young women pretended not to see him and continued their dance."  A Montreal newspaper quoted Leduc as saying he wanted to show the world what a beautiful body he had.  With a massive lack of humour, police reportedly kicked and beat the streaker as he was removed from the stadium. 

- The Sun, 3 August, 1976

Trial Run

It seems the Olympic stadium at Homebush Bay in Sydney has already had a trial streak. Two construction workers, on a break and eager to try out the newly constructed track, whipped off work clothes, boots and tools and went for a run around the area, much to the delight of onlookers. Word has it the streak complied with all relevant building standards.

- Triple J Morning Show 1999, ABC website

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Sharing the Spirit.

Why this page? Because vast amounts of my tax money went into staging the Olympics and, like many Australians, I don't really think it was worth it. So the best Australian response is, as usual, to take the piss.

Article originally written in 2000